This post contains an excerpt from my upcoming book, “How To Survive Divorce: Lessons From Management.”
When my divorce first started I got some advice from a friend of mine, “this is business now.” I had a very hard time coming to grips with this reality. Then my therapist opened my eyes when he said the following: “If she still had any feelings for you, if this relationship could be saved, then she wouldn’t have [treated you the way she did]. Your relationship is over, now you need to figure out your priorities, and goals.”
This advice may seem a bit harsh, however, in retrospect, it was probably the best advice I got during my divorce.
So when I sat down to right the book I decided to take a different approach from anything else I’d seen about divorce. Most of the books talk about relationships or the legalities. This book talks about how you approach the process of divorce and how you get through it successfully.
We use a Strategic Planning Model to develop our plan and strategy for a divorce, then we work and execute that plan, just like we would if we were managing a business project. One of the things we do in our coaching is to walk our partners through this process. We develop a mission, a vision, our core values, our strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats (SWOT Analysis), our long term goals, our objectives, and finally we develop our action plan.
This is just an introduction so that you see where I come from with my coaching philosophy. I’m here to help you survive and thrive during your divorce, but, more importantly, I’m here to help you stay safe.